The Art of
BAD Management.
Real leadership isn't a punchline.
A refreshing and witty take on leadership — showcasing exactly what you should avoid as a manager. Written by someone from a parallel universe who followed every piece of advice real leaders are trained to ignore.
Gonzalo Figueroa spent 20+ years building high-performance teams — then wrote an entire satirical book about the opposite, just to make the lesson stick. Now he teaches the real thing to teams who'd rather not learn it the hard way.
Official Warning
A Quick Note
This site offers an unconventional take on leadership, designed to challenge your perceptions through humor, sarcasm, and reverse psychology. The tone and voice represent an imaginary persona from a parallel universe — someone who follows every piece of advice that true leadership should strictly avoid. Recognize a pattern? Good. That's the point.
This page used to belong to a fictional tyrant from a parallel universe. He's been escorted out. Everything below is written by an actual human, about actual leadership, for actual teams — no reverse psychology required.
The InHuman Resources
Employee Handbook.
The Curriculum. Built
From The Same Book.
Twelve corporate mandates, ratified across every department. Compliance is not optional.
Every satirical chapter has a real-world counterpart. We built a workshop for each one — pick the ones your team needs most.
Appreciation is Overrated
Recognition That Works
Gratitude is a leash. Praise breeds comfort, and comfort breeds people who think they deserve things.
People don't get comfortable from being thanked — they get loyal. Recognizing effort without inflating egos.
The Interim Solution
Decisions That Last
Never fix anything properly. A permanent patch keeps everyone dependent on you, forever.
Quick fixes feel productive and cost you a year later. A framework for decisions your team won't re-make.
Ambiguity: Your True North Star
Clarity Over Ambiguity
Clear goals are for people who want to be held accountable. Keep it vague, keep your options open.
Vague goals aren't flexible — they're just unfair. Setting direction people can actually act on.
Core PillarWork-Life (Im)Balance
Sustainable High Performance
Their calendar is your calendar. Weekends are a rumor you let spread when it's convenient for you.
Burned-out teams don't hit targets twice. Building a pace your best people can sustain for years.
More Money, More Problems
Motivation Beyond The Paycheck
Raises create expectations. Underpay generously and call it "exposure."
Money matters, but it's not the whole story. Building compensation that actually retains people.
Silent Workers Are Efficient Workers
Psychological Safety & Voice
A quiet room is a productive room. Questions are just complaints wearing a tie.
The best ideas die in silent rooms. Building a team that raises problems before they're disasters.
Fear: The Ultimate Motivator
Encouragement Over Fear
Collaboration Kills Progress
Collaboration Over Isolation
Leader's Knows Best
Empowerment Over Control
Culture's Cute, Results Pay
Culture Is The Strategy
Sharing is Caring (But Not Really)
Transparency As An Advantage
Feedback is Better Served Cold
Feedback That Builds
Six mandates down. Six more compliance violations waiting. The rest are classified — for now.
The other 6 modules — including 3 of the 4 core pillars — are in the book. Read it once, run workshops on it forever.
Unlock All 12 Chapters → Get The Full Book →"Opinions are a problem — an annoyance that can be swept under the rug with a bit of well-placed sarcasm. But now it's time to go deeper, to move beyond mere opinions and explore the art of leveraging fear as your most potent tool in a leader's arsenal. While opinions may be like gnats buzzing around, fear is the hammer that crushes them, ensuring total compliance without question."
Beware
Ready
Acquire The Manual.
Bring The Book Into The Room.
A satirical guide to leadership failures — by Gonzalo I. Figueroa. Whether you're an experienced manager or just stepping into a leadership role, this book will entertain and educate by showing you exactly what NOT to do.
Used as the discussion-starter in every Gonzalo Figueroa workshop. Teams read a chapter, laugh, wince, then unpack what real leadership does instead — live, in the room.
- Insightful lessons hidden beneath the humor — real guidance for anyone looking to improve as a leader
- Journey Notes to help you reflect on your own leadership style
- Quizzes to test your understanding of terrible management practices
- A Checklist to guide you on your path to becoming the ultimate bad manager (or better yet, avoiding it)
- 12 chapters, each mapped to a real workshop module your team can book separately
- Discussion prompts included for book clubs and offsite kickoffs
- Bulk-order pricing for teams of 10, 50, or 500+
- Signed copies available for keynote and conference attendees
Corporate Contraband.
Work With Gonzalo.
Printify-fulfilled propaganda for your desk, your mug, and your team's collective dread.
Three ways to bring this into your organization — from a single stage to a year-long engagement.
"Zero-Feedback" Mug
Holds coffee. Withholds praise.
$24.00Corporate Overlord Hoodie
For the 6am "quick sync" you called.
$65.00Strategic Ambiguity Journal
Every page is intentionally unclear.
$32.00Employee of the Month: Nobody
Desk plaque. Deeply demoralizing.
$19.00Keynote Speaking
A 45-minute stage talk built from the book — the funniest way your leadership offsite will ever confront its own habits.
Check Dates →Team Workshop
Half-day or full-day, on-site or remote. Pick any of the 12 modules, or run the complete curriculum.
See Modules →Executive Coaching
1:1 engagements for leaders who recognized a little too much of themselves in chapter 7.
Enquire →
Led by Cristine Figueroa, MS HRM — a Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach with 20+ years in HR, recruiting, and conflict resolution. Real HR credibility behind every engagement.
Performance Reviews.
What Teams Say After.
Unedited. Anonymous. Legally we have to call these "reviews."
Sample feedback from workshop attendees. (Illustrative — swap for real client quotes at launch.)
"I read one chapter on the train and started crying at my desk. My team has never been more compliant."
"We ran the Ambiguity module with our entire eng org. Three weeks later our sprint planning actually works."
— Anonymous Regional Director — VP Engineering, Series C startup"Recognized my old boss on page 40. Then page 60. Then, uncomfortably, myself on page 96."
"Gonzalo made 200 managers laugh at themselves in the first ten minutes, then actually changed how they run 1:1s."
— Someone Who Was Definitely Not Fired For This Review — Head of People, mid-market SaaS"Bought it as a joke gift for my manager. He now quotes it in earnest during all-hands. Send help."
"The book-to-workshop pipeline is genius — everyone arrives already primed, so the real conversation starts immediately."
— Concerned Direct Report — Chief of Staff, telecom enterprise
The Director.
The Human Behind The Satire.
Industrial Engineer. Computer Animator. Master's in Engineering Management. Twenty-plus years spent studying how teams work, which he has generously repurposed into a field guide for how to make sure they never do.
Gonzalo I. Figueroa is an Industrial Engineer, Computer Animator, and holds a Master's in Engineering Management. With over 20 years of experience in UX/UI, he has led high-performance teams across manufacturing, technology, and telecom. Having lived and worked across multiple countries, he brings deep cultural insight to leading distributed, global teams.
"Leadership is no longer a challenge when you've ascended beyond mortal comprehension."
"Leadership is about evolving, about lifting others up, and about leaving a legacy of respect, trust, and collaboration."
There's Another Way.
Curious What Not To Do?
If any of this made you uncomfortable — good. That's the part of you that's still a real leader. It's still in there.
The book that started all this is equal parts hilarious and horrifying. Step into the parallel universe. Just don't stay too long.
Join The Ranks.
Stay Sharp.
Monthly transmissions from a parallel universe. Must confirm you are 16+ and emotionally unavailable.
Occasional, genuinely useful leadership notes. No parallel universe required.